Drifting

It’s been over a year since the last update of this blog, and let me tell you- its been an eventful one.

So much has happened in this past year that i’m at a point in my life where I barely recognise the girl that wrote some of these earlier blog posts anymore. The inspired motivated Holly has recently been quite hard to find.

However, this past year was probably one of the best of my life. It was a whirlwind of a year- I was so busy my feet barely touched the ground. I found passion in my work, fell in love, travelled to New York and Paris and ultimately was the happiest I have felt in a long time.

But a lot has changed recently and i’ve felt myself beginning to drift. I’ve moved away from everyone and everything that I know to start university, and lost not only one of my closest friends, but also been on the receiving end of a not too amicable break up- all within weeks of each other. It took its toll- so much change happening too quickly- and as someone that suffers with control issues engrained from years of various eating disorders, and as someone that always likes to know what is going on and have a plan- it hasn’t really been a great few months for me.

I’ve been feeling out of touch with myself. And that needs to change. I’ve made some amazing friends at uni and I have realised that being away from home has helped in some aspects. Being detached from everything that reminded me of her gave me time to distract myself and pretend everything was fine. Haa yeah- that’s something I do a lot too- pretending everything is fine even if I can tell it’s not. Something my ex could never get her head around was my inability to talk about feelings ever- I hated showing too much emotion if it wasn’t directed in a happy optimistic way- or as a joke. It’s something I need to change about myself. Which is why i’m writing this- something I absolutely never would have considered before- as I’m not one to open up often. I’d much rather just stick to my sarcastic jokes on twitter.

So it’s got me thinking that I need to throw myself back into this blog. Take more time to appreciate the small happinesses in life and to give me something to be enthusiasticย about again. God that sounds mopey and pathetic. Sorry.

So expect exciting things from me! Or not too exciting because really how exciting can a broke fashion student’s life get?

Thank you x

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